Cryptozoological Erotica Is Actually a Thing

Just when you think the paranormal pop culture phenomenon has reached the limits of nonsensical absurdity, something else comes along to destroy that silly notion. I give to you the ridiculously disturbing monster porn: erotica novels written about and involving your favorite cryptids. I kid you not, this is a real thing. And it’s pretty popular, too. Doesn’t this cross into bestiality territory?

Virginia Wade has sold a number of Cryptozoological Erotica books like Moan for Bigfoot
And women say men are perverts…

Writers, especially self-publishing beginner authors, aren’t exactly known for making money. But perhaps all the would-be Franzens are barking up the wrong genre. There is a proven way for unsigned writers to make $30,000 a month, according to The Daily Beast.

Digital cryptozoological erotica. Otherwise known as monster porn e-books.

Titles like Moan for Bigfoot by Virginia Wade are for sale on Amazon, and people are buying them — Moan for Bigfoot has been downloaded over 100,000 times. (That particular title was christened under a different title, before Amazon cracked down on the burgeoning genre of books.)

Sample line from the series (one of the few PG lines in the entire thing): “For a grizzled, walking carpet, with the manners of a goat, he sure was a good kisser.”

Wade and her crypto-erotic cohorts are more concerned with turning people on than crafting polished sentences, and the prose is, as you may have guessed, more or less uniformly ridiculous. But the descriptions of beast-on-lady doin’ it are provocative enough to keep customers coming back.

Other available titles in this surprisingly expansive category: Seduced By the Ape Men, The Monster in Her Panties, Yielding to the Merman, Punished By the Centaur, Savaged By the Swamp Creature, Taken By the Pterodactyl, Sex With My Husband’s Anatomically Correct Robot, and my personal favorite, Bigfoot Did Me From Behind and I Liked It. The tongue-in-bestial-cheek, unabashedly campy titles speak to the underlying humor which makes these e-reads palatable.

Wade, the woman behind the Moan for Bigfoot series (there are 16 installments) makes thousands every month selling these bizarrely appealing e-books through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. Wade (which is, unsurprisingly, a pen name) may retire from the genre, though, after Amazon’s decision to tighten restrictions.

This means there’s room in the crypto-erotica game for a new master to rise — will it be Christie Sims and Alara Branwen, the duo behind most of the dinosaur erotica? Or Alice Xavier, who wrote the popular Alien Seed?

Or perhaps a TIME reader with a nutty dream about sensual Chupacabras will be our next star.

The woman writing these cryptozoological erotica books is making a lot of money, so what do I know? Plus, it seems like they are humorous. But I doubt the majority of the women buying these erotica novels are buying them for the chuckles.

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