The Loch Ness Monster in Wisconsin’s Chippewa River
Just a silly story for a dreary Saturday (here in New York City, anyways). Not sure if this is supposed to be Nessie or one of her North American cousins like Champ or Ogopogo.
The Loch Ness Monster has finally surfaced—in Wisconsin’s Chippewa River. And state officials want it to go.
To be clear, the object in question is actually a sculpture meant to resemble “Nessie,” the mythological creature supposedly navigating a deep body of water in Scotland.
Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources spokesman Dan Baumann says the sculpture is illegally obstructing the Chippewa and needs to be removed. However, like the origins of the Loch Ness Monster itself, the identity of the sculpture’s creator remains a mystery.
An anonymous reader did contact the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram, saying the sculpture would be removed within 10 days. “As much as I would like to leave it there, I don’t want the DNR finding out it was me and fining me for it,” wrote the anonymous emailer.
In addition, the owner of a local home-improvement store says the sculpture would make a good fit in some water retention sites on the company’s property.
“We have ponds and fountains on many of our properties, and seeing this piece of artwork in the Chippewa River spurred some conversation,” said Menards spokesman Jeff Abbott.
It’s probably for the best that it gets removed. Some overeager paranormal enthusiast might take a blurry photo of it from very far away and claim that it’s proof of a sea monster, without, you know, exploring rational explanations first. Not that that sort of thing ever happens.